After several months of preparation and hours of practicing daily, I unfortunately did not win the Principal Trombonist job I had hoped.
The bittersweet silver lining is that I came very close, advancing in the first blind round among dozens of candidates. In fact, there were so many candidates that they decided to host a second blind round. I had prepared for only one blind round, and there is no doubt that my lack of mental preparation forced me into a spiral that ultimately kept me from achieving my ultimate goal.
I am not sad about my performance. I am disappointed I didn't win, but I do not hold any judgements on my ability to win. Furthermore, there is something else very important to be gleaned here:
As I took on a formal symphony audition for the first time in several years (my last loss poisoned my confidence - and pocketbook - more than I care to admit), I realized that my key to success on the day lied in mental preparation and emotional maturity. The many hours of preparation are necessary and should flow thoughtlessly outward during audition performance, but it is imperative for me to additionally practice silencing the mind for performance day success. Some auditionees can come in, 'guns a blazing', and execute flawlessly, but there are challenges to audition procedures that are unlike any other experience for a musician. Books such as The Inner Game of Tennis, Zen in the Art of Archery, and Effortless Mastery were all books that I purchased and read in my early 20s. I found them extremely helpful coming back to them in my late 20s, and had a great deal of success with them in this go-around. For many, I believe this is part of the battle missed.
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